Towards the middle of this chapter, Siegel talks about the two major changes that most all teens go through during their adolescent years. The first is when puberty hits we begin to experience changes in our body and changes in emotions. The second is that we push away from our parents and gravitate more towards being with peers and trying to do things in new and different ways.
I love Siegel's perspective on going through Puberty. Today, I think there is such a negative connotation with the word Puberty. Adolescence start developing more sexual characteristics. They start becoming more interested in the opposite sex. This is the way that God designed us intentionally. It is a beautiful process in becoming an adult and growing through life. I can remember a couple years ago, I was coaching a junior high volleyball camp. Before practice the girls would just sit in the hall way and talk about all the different boys they like or who they thought liked them. While I still didn't find this the best conversation to be having right before practice, I am better able to understand why after reading this chapter.
Pushing away from parents can be a tricky stage. As I read this book as a 20 year old, it's hard for me to understand the role or feelings of a parent with a child going through this stage. I remember going through this stage myself. I can think back to the time where I would do everything I could to try and have sleepovers with my friends because I would much rather be with my friends than with my parents. This becomes tricky because the idea of adolescents hanging out alone together is scary to adult, but also very beneficial is developing a new and better way of thinking while attaining new social skills.
My mom once told me, "Abby if you only look towards the negatives in people, you are going to be one bitter person." This statement holds so true to anybody parenting, working, or interacting with adolescence. If adults choose to understand and appreciate this stage, they learn adolescence can actually compliment them well.
Yes I think you're right that if parents can learn to have a positive attitude towards adolescence and see their teens as tapping into their potential maybe we would do a better job of encouraging and validating their need for more freedom. As I reflect I feel like I spend a lot of time counseling parents to "let go" of their teens and allow them the opportunity to make mistakes (and hopefully learn from them).
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