Blog #8

This final section of reading Siegel continues his ideas of being present in an adolescents life. He tells the story of Andy. Andy went through the stage of adolescence like everyone else. He was becoming more away sexually. While many of his friends started becoming attracted to other girls, he found himself being attracted to other boys. He knew that he was different and felt anxious because he knew. Siegel explains how he went about counseling Andy's parents through theses changes. Siegel explains that these parents would claim to be open but found they were more closed off than they thought they would be.

The last part of this book has been challenging to think about. I think it is easy to say that we are all open and present with the teenagers that we encounter, but our actions show otherwise. Today, people care so much about pleasing others and that affects the way that we interact with adolescents. I am forced to ask myself, if I truly can see the beauty in the individual differences among teenagers. Siegel gives us practical ways to go about accepting youth exactly the way they are and encouraging them in their differences.

After reading this book, I feel that I have grown in understanding in many different areas. As someone aspiring to work in a field dealing with juveniles, I now have a better understanding of the development a teen goes through. Understanding what they go through emotionally, sexually, mentally, and physically will help me better empathize.

Blog #7

"As adults supporting adolescents such changes may challenge us to be open to what is happening, to be receptive and responsive instead of reactive, to connect rather than correct."

This is the way that Siegel starts off this section of reading. Throughout this entire book we have tried to gain a better understanding of why adolescents act the way that they do throughout this period of life by looking at physical, mental, emotional, and psychological changes. As well as gaining an understanding of why, Siegel is intentionally showing adults encountering adolescents how to be successful in their interactions. He makes it very clear throughout the entire book that we aren't able to control everything an adolescent experiences in this beautiful stage of life. But, we can remain present.

This is a common theme through this entire chapter. Remain present. I remember thinking as a teenager that my parents were not cool. I remember getting stressed out, and my parents just didn't help. One thing I do remember is how they never stopped being there. They didn't say "screw it" and leave me hanging. No matter how moody, rude, and emotional I was, they were present in my life. They supported me, and I always knew that they loved me. I think this is ultimately what Siegel is alluding to. Adults have the choice when dealing with adolescents. We can get mad and frustrated and attempt to change them, or we can remain present and constant in their rapidly changing lives.

Blog #6

Siegel set up three different sections that he talks about in this reading. He goes through three different attachments that one could have developed growing up. He explains the impact that these attachments have on the brain. He also provides different steps and practices one can use that might have developed an attachment. He talks on Avoidance, Ambivalence, and Disorganization.

I appreciate how he broke down each of these attachments and explained what was going on in the brain. How with avoidance one often has a slower development in the right side of their brain. He speaks on the importance of both sides of the brain, and how important it is for them to develop at the same time.

For this section of the book, I felt that a lot of parents needed to read it. There are so many factors that go into shaping an adolescent into who they are. Parenting is crucial. Parents should be educated in what is going on with development, emotions, or learning in general of an adolescent. Whether you are an adolescent or adult this chapter is also beneficial to read because of the practices that Siegel lays out for those with a history of attachments. One might be reading this book as an adult and notice that they may have one of these attachments, but Siegel expresses it's never too late to change it.

I appreciate how Siegel ends the chapter as well. Because there is so much change going on in a teenager it is important for those in there lives be supportive and encouraging of that change. Assisting them in navigating their attachments

Blog #5

One of the middle aged moms from my church had a teenage daughter in the prime of her adolescence. Her daughter wanted nothing to do with her, and she was in a stage where she was anti-parent. She was just finding who she was and finding that in other people. We started this mentoring program at my church not long after and her daughter was given a mentor from the church body. I remember a couple week later the mom in study saying that this mentoring program meant the absolute word to her. Her daughter responded so positively to her mentor. Her mom was just so grateful that even thought it wasn't her, her daughter had someone who supported her, loved her, and was someone she could look up to. As I read through this chapter about attachments, I am reminded a lot of this story.

Siegel, being a father, gave great advice to parents. He provided a new perspective on parenting for parents. Sometimes as a parent is is a hard pill to swallow when you are not who your child wants to be with. As I look back to my adolescent years, I can see why this is so important. My parents always were telling me what to do. My parents could tell me one thing and it would go in one ear and out the other. Someone else could tell me the exact same thing and it would mean so much more. But, the relationships that we have/had with our parents or close caretakers or friends are "influential in terms of how we feel, how we think, how we behave, and how we connect with friends, teachers, and later on, our romantic partners as we move through our lives." As a parent, it crucial for you to try and understand the adolescent and what he/she likes or dislikes. Learn how they react. Learn how they rationalize things. Learn these so that you can support them and encourage them in being exactly who they are.

Blog #4

My sister is going through the prime of her adolescent years. These years have been both amazing and exhausting. As I read through this book, I find some things that Seigel says a little too scary accurate. I appreciated the way he showed us the hand model when identifying the different parts of the brain. This was an easier way for me to remember all the different parts of the brain and how the connect with each other. The brain has always amazed me with the different functions it has, the awesome things it can do, and the overwhelming information it can hold. I don't think I truly understood how big of an impact the development of the brain has on teenagers. These different developments or "remodeling" of the brain makes perfect sense. Like remodeling a house, they are redoing and rethinking everything that they have grown up thinking. Teenagers are finding a new sense of self. This development and change in life is experienced differently for all adolescents.

There is this new(ish) app/game to play on your phone called FriendO. I play this game with my teenage sister daily. One of the questions my sister had to answer on this app was, "My parents don't understand why..." then the app proceeded to give her 4 different answers to choose from.
        a. Why I dress the way I do.
        b. Why I text my friends all the time.
        c. Why I listen to the music I do.
        d. all of the above.
My sister answered d. all of the above. I immediately thought of this book when I saw that she answered that. My sister is all sorts of hilarious, spunky, fun, caring, loving, compassionate, and so much more. Towards the end of this chapter, I appreciated the explanation behind the emotions and vulnerability of the teenager. For me, I can tell my sister gets more defensive and emotional when someone criticizes what she is doing or who she is. I like how Seigel states this isn't a sign of immaturity but a crucial part of human development. My sister is still finding who she is and that is a beautiful process. But, I can't wait for her to be a couple years older and truly understand the all sorts of amazing she is and can be. 

Blog #3

Siegel opens up this section of the book with the story of Katey. This story hit home because I think there are many Katey's in this world. Throughout all the different stories regarding teenagers, he explains that there are common themes. These themes stem from the development in their brains. Siegel writes the effects that dopamine can have on the brain. I gained so much more understanding of the "why" behind the actions. Katey was fully aware of the negative consequences of her actions and yet she still did it. She along with most all other adolescence care more about their idea of the positives such as the thrill or impressing their peers. When adolescence have this mindset, the risk seems worth it because they aren't able to think big picture.

I enjoyed the story of his son's friend Benji when explaining the effects of peer pressure on adolescence. This story was almost funny because of the phrase, "If your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" In Benji's case, he sure did. Because he was in the presence of all of his friends, he jumped off a fifty foot cliff and broke his leg. If Benji was alone, he would still have two full functioning legs. Teenagers reduce the focus on potential risks of the situations when they are with their peers because they get caught up in the idea of impressing people. Looking back at all situations I was in or even that I heard about this is the main motive for doing dumb things.

Seigel continues to drive the point home that "Adolescence is not a stage to simply get over, it is a stage of life to cultivate well" (74). He intends us to switch this negative view we have on teenagers that they are immature to a positive view that they are simply in a crucial stage of development both physically and mentally. I agree with his statement, but I think as parents or authority to teenagers this shouldn't excuse their rude behavior. There is still a strong need of discipline in these stages. As adults we shouldn't say, "Oh, it's okay that they ran away from home they are just clinging to their peers more now." It is possible for adults to discipline teens with grace.

Blog #2

Towards the middle of this chapter, Siegel talks about the two major changes that most all teens go through during their adolescent years. The first is when puberty hits we begin to experience changes in our body and changes in emotions. The second is that we push away from our parents and gravitate more towards being with peers and trying to do things in new and different ways.

I love Siegel's perspective on going through Puberty. Today, I think there is such a negative connotation with the word Puberty. Adolescence start developing more sexual characteristics. They start becoming more interested in the opposite sex. This is the way that God designed us intentionally. It is a beautiful process in becoming an adult and growing through life. I can remember a couple years ago, I was coaching a junior high volleyball camp. Before practice the girls would just sit in the hall way and talk about all the different boys they like or who they thought liked them. While I still didn't find this the best conversation to be having right before practice, I am better able to understand why after reading this chapter.

Pushing away from parents can be a tricky stage. As I read this book as a 20 year old, it's hard for me to understand the role or feelings of a parent with a child going through this stage. I remember going through this stage myself. I can think back to the time where I would do everything I could to try and have sleepovers with my friends because I would much rather be with my friends than with my parents. This becomes tricky because the idea of adolescents hanging out alone together is scary to adult, but also very beneficial is developing a new and better way of thinking while attaining new social skills.

My mom once told me, "Abby if you only look towards the negatives in people, you are going to be one bitter person." This statement holds so true to anybody parenting, working, or interacting with adolescence. If adults choose to understand and appreciate this stage, they learn adolescence can actually compliment them well.

Blog #1

I grew up in a family of five children. The older four of us all were born in a span of six years. So yes, at one point my parents had to deal with 4 teenagers. Bless their hearts. Daniel J. Siegel gives us a new perspective on the years of adolescence. There is a social stigma about teenagers nowadays in society saying they are "lazy," "out of control," "moody," or "just going through a phase." Siegel seeks to break that stigma in his book Brainstorm.

He talks first about the three main myths that people believe about teenagers. First, that their raging hormones cause them to be the way they are. Second, that adolescent years are simply a time of immaturity. Third, that during the time of adolescence teens must stop depending on their parents and become independent. Growing up and hearing other talk about teenagers, these myths are a common way of thinking. I appreciate how Siegel uses science to back up his argument but also makes it personal as he is raising two adolescent boys.

He gives us a positive image on the stage of adolescence. While others view it as a time of immaturity he finds the beauty in their curiosity and emotional intensity. Because the brain is developing so fast emotions run so high. This can bring many tears, but also bring so much joy of life. One of my sister just turned 15. When he talks about the way people interact with adolescence, I am able to see this even in my sister. She has teachers that treat her like she is 12. Other teachers she has treat her like she is a mature adult, and she does better in those classes. I find this so interesting because he gives us positive insight to what teens can bring to the world contrary to what the majority of society thinks of teenagers.